The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
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