Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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