We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize