he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
