I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
