Just cropdusted the office
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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