i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
