These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize