i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
