the condom got lost in my hair
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I AM VODKA MAN
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
