im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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