He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
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His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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