What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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