don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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