very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
