And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
