Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
