remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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