Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
