To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Randomize
