They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
