I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
