At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
no you cant smoke seaweed
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
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