I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
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