My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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