Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize