Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
