You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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