can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize