i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
