By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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