I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
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