we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize