I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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