I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
