ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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