Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
