did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
