4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Little spoons don't ask big questions
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
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