i can't believe i had my finger in that
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
