i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
