i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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