i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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