No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize