Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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