I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
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Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
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In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
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