i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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