i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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