So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
