The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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