you traded sex for a burrito?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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