Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
