Three words: puerto rican gang bang
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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