This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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