porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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