if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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