oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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